UNICORNS

Apr 17
  • Pro-lifer: Would you have wanted to be aborted
  • Me: Yes
Apr 17

quote #nsfw #i guess

— Ancient Tumblr proverb (via xenotone)
Apr 17

bryanthephotogeek:

iwasneverasweetheart:

cubbiemcprude:

Time to get healthy.

Damn

I actually like a couple of these, and I can see some of you liking specific ones as well. 

Apr 17

armadillo:

i dont care WHAT you say or if im a grown man i will not give up my swing for your 3 year old son he can fucking wait his turn

Apr 17
plushestrumpest:

I wasn’t allowed to name it Gay Butt Sex

plushestrumpest:

I wasn’t allowed to name it Gay Butt Sex

Apr 17

greyerl:

why do people think getting a tattoo in any foreign language is cultural appropriation unless you’ve tattooed a religious or sacred phrase or word on you then there is literally no problem

Apr 17
wonderfulhighschoollife:

I feel the same way sneakers

wonderfulhighschoollife:

I feel the same way sneakers

Apr 17

open RP

gaypee:

erwinsmithe:

gaypee:

erwinsmithe:

gaypee:

imagehi

image

Joseph Stalin raises his head, a sly twinkle in his eye as he meets the bald man’s suggestive gaze. “Walter…” He purrs, dragging his tongue along the underside of his mustache in anticipation. “I see you’ve finally arrived.” 

image
hello police

image

"Oh, Walter," The man chuckled, mustache quivering in delight. "I am the police.”

image

Apr 17
sexypanda:

gHET YOUr Arm HaIR AWA Y From ME!!11!

sexypanda:

gHET YOUr Arm HaIR AWA Y From ME!!11!

Apr 17

realniggaannouncements:

I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax evasion  

Apr 17
sabrielwinchester:

docproto:

pureorangeness:

racheltheprincessa:

dathomo:

storyofanawesomeguy:

distraction:


aw there’s a girl proposing to a guy in the bathroom!

how sweet

I’m sure she is getting all choked up

It’s such big news it must be hard to swallow!

Such a big surprise , might not be able to wrap her head around it

sucks that this happens in a lousy public bathroom. let’s not blow it out of proportions.

That girl is sucking a penis.

woA H now let’s not jump to conclusions 

sabrielwinchester:

docproto:

pureorangeness:

racheltheprincessa:

dathomo:

storyofanawesomeguy:

distraction:

aw there’s a girl proposing to a guy in the bathroom!

how sweet

I’m sure she is getting all choked up

It’s such big news it must be hard to swallow!

Such a big surprise , might not be able to wrap her head around it

sucks that this happens in a lousy public bathroom. let’s not blow it out of proportions.

That girl is sucking a penis.

woA H now let’s not jump to conclusions 

Apr 17

unshaped:

when you didn’t sleep the whole night and then sit in class the next day

image

Apr 17

molebucks:

lovely-dna:

molebucks:

treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me

no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry

*4-second-long fart noise*

Apr 17

unmarvel:

unmarvel:

when he leans close and whispers to your ear  (◡‿◡✿)

"hail hydra"  (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Apr 17

lokeleo:

andthenewt:

weirdnessloveandscifi:

bohemian-napsody:

very fucking punny you shits

teeth

with all the actual humour, tumblr still finds “teeth” the funniest thing.

actual humor